Life of Desi SW Engineer in USA

(This article is for Light Humor Purpose Only, based on some observations by writer – Not to hurt anybody’s sentiments.. Apologies to Indian SW Engineer Community in USA)

The 12-step script that an Indian Software Engineer, who arrives in the USA mostly follows :

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟭
As a student, work hard to fulfill three goals
(A) Pay off the Student Loan
(B) Get a job anywhere in USA
(C) Get H1-B approved
(This one is the most important Goal).
Simultaneously make elaborate plans to return back to India within 5 years.

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H1-B approved
Enjoy the influx of Green Currency. Buy a Toyota Camry or Honda Civic or Nissan Altima
Also, buy a property somewhere in India

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟯
Invite Parents from India on Visitor Visas.

Take them on the Char Dhaam Yatra – Niagara Falls – Statue of Liberty – Charging Bull in the Wall Street – White House

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟰
Go to India, finalize a Girl, and get married in 3 weeks
Of course it’s the arranged marriage way !!
Come back to the USA with your newly-married Spouse

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟱
During weekends and lunchtime with other Indian friends, endlessly discuss 3 topics
(A) When are you going to get your Green Card, and what is your priority date currently?
(B) How Modi is transforming India
(C) Cricket
(D) Buy another property in India

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟲
Buy a Home in the USA. Have 2 kids. Spend the next 15 years dropping them off to various Classes, attending Birthday parties, and visiting Home Depot for various Home projects.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 7
Green card waiting is over.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 8
By the time, you are in 40s, you have saved enough Funds. The plan for returning back to India, has not worked out. Now find new ways to spend money.
Buy a Tesla or BMW or Mercedes
Also your India Properties aren’t lucrative anymore as INR has further depreciated against USD so enroll into a difficult struggle of selling off the properties in India, paying a hefty Capital Gains Tax in India & remitting the funds back to the United States

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 9
Now comes the time for a Midlife crisis. Another shiny new Car, bigger Home, Green Card, and a High-paying job don’t add any substance to your life. Now do something exotic to add flavor to your existence. A Marathon Race / intermittent fasting / maybe opening a new start-up

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 10
In your 50s and 60s, after your kids have graduated from Stanford or MIT or Princeton, discuss how your life would have been Very different, had you returned to India 5 years after coming to the USA.

Step 11
With Children going away and enough time in hand, cram each year with trips to Europe, visiting Pyramids in Egypt, enjoying Turkish Delights, and visit Italy.
Start rediscovering India and share with friends back in the USA how India has improved a lot in the recent Decades

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 12
When Functional Mobility decreases – ponder over the big question – whether to go back to India (or) stay in an old age home or assisted-living in the USA.